The Wig Makes the Man
by Cool Burn
Summary: Chi-Chi has been putting Goku to work to put a baby in her. The Saiyan confides in Krillin that he can't take much more of his wife's insatiable drive. Miscommunication between Krillin and Goku results in Krillin offering to tag in to help his friend. Goku doubts if Chi-Chi would agree to that. But what if the bald warrior wears a wig to trick her? Based on DBZA episode 56! Parody!


**A/N: As a huge fan of DBZA, I wanted to try and expand on one of their many great scenes. This story is the result. I hope you'll enjoy it! As a starting writer, any constructive criticism would be appreciated! I also have a poll up on my profile page if you're interested.  
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 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Dragon Ball franchise, nor am I affiliated with Team Four Star in any way. I make no money from this fic.**

 **Warning: sexual content and a parody**

* * *

 **The Wig Makes the Man**

The Cell Games was only a few days away. Underneath the bright sun, two best friends had gathered for a day of fishing and relaxation to escape their hectic lives for a couple of hours.

"Man, it feels like years since the two of us just went fishing and chilled out," Krillin stated, throwing a rock down in the river. He watched the pebble get taken away by the strong stream. "And of all times right before a tournament that will decide the fate of the world. Weird how stuff works out, am I right?" He threw another piece of ore into the water.

"Nobody knows, Krillin." Goku released a drawn-out sigh as he reclined onto the grassy field, his hands behind his head for stability. "Nobody knows the weight on my shoulders. I feel it… every day. Before I go to bed, when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes, I wonder… Can I really do this?"

"Wow… I uhh…" Krillin was at a loss for words. Wat this really his fearless best friend Son Goku? The warrior who welcomed any challenge that came his way? "I had no idea this Cell stuff was getting to you this badly."

"Cell stuff?" Goku cocked an eyebrow. What the HIFL was his best friend talking about? "I'm talking about Ch-Chi."

"Chi-Chi?"

"She's been nonstop! Ever since I got out of the chamber." The Saiyan wasn't exaggerating. Chi-Chi wanted to make another baby, and she would not take no for an answer. "In and out, day in and day out! She'll send Gohan for groceries five counties over in the middle of the day just to get him out of the house."

"You uhm… know you can say no, right?"

"Well duh! But it's a challenge, Krillin! And I never back down from a challenge." His lips twirled into a smile. "Also, it feels really good. Have you ever tried it?"

"Like… with a real person?"

"Hey Dad," Gohan's voice called from behind them, interrupting the duo. "Mom sent me to tell you to come home. She also told me to pick up a lot of peanut butter…?"

Goku sighed and placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Krillin?"

"Look if you're asking me to tag in I'm willing, but…"

"What?" Did his best friend just offer to take his place to try to make a baby with his wife? "No! Catch more fish while I'm gone."

"Oh…! Well duh" Krillin laughed sheepishly, rubbing his bald head in embarrassment. "Of course, like that'll ever work."

"Yeah, no… it…" There was no way Chi-Chi would ever fall for that. Krillin didn't even have any hair! There was no way she would confuse his best friend for him. If he had a blonde Super Saiyan do it would be a different story, but… "But if you had a wig…"

* * *

"I… don't think that will work," Krillin responded skeptically when Goku finished telling him his plan to let him tag in and have sex with his wife in the Saiyan's stead to allow him to recuperate.

"Of course, it would, Krillin!" Goku persisted. "If Chi-Chi sees someone with Super Saiyan hair, she has to believe it's either me or Gohan, and there's no way she'll think it's Gohan. That would be incesticulous."

"What about Trunks and Vegeta?"

"They can't keep their ki small and harmless like Gohan and I can while they're transformed. When Chi-Chi sees a Super Saiyan with a power level as low as yours, she has to believe it's me!"

"Wow really, Goku…?" His best friend could be so uncouth. "What about my height, though? You're a lot taller than me. There's no way this could work. Well… maybe if we turn off the lights, bu-"

"The lights!" Goku interrupted him with an exuberant howl. Of course! If they turned the lights off, Chi-Chi wouldn't notice the difference in their heights! "You're a genius, Krillin!"

"Wh… what?"

* * *

How had it ended up like this? Here Krillin stood, in front of the door leading to Goku's bedroom to couple with his best friend's wife. Goku stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder for support. "Don't worry, Krillin. I already convinced her to keep the lights off. Just go in there and give her what she wants, buddy!"

"Right… I can… I can do that!" Dende, this was nerve wrecking. It was really going to happen. He was going to lose his virginity… to his best friend's wife. Was this really okay? He anxiously rubbed his hand over his head, only to be confronted with what might be the weirdest part of this entire situation. "Goku, why do you insist on me wearing a wig if the lights are going to be off?"

Krillin wore his usual attire consisting of an orange Gi, blue undershirt, and boots. That wasn't abnormal in the slightest. No, what made him stand out in any crowd was the spiky blonde hairpiece adorning his bald head. It didn't make him feel like a Super Saiyan. If anything, it made him feel like an idiot.

"For immersion, Krillin," Goku explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "While training, it's important to give it all you got and use everything you can to give yourself an edge!"

Krillin was about to correct him that this wasn't supposed to be a training exercise, but quickly realized that for someone like Goku, sex could indeed be considered to be training. Endurance training that is.

"Don't worry, all right? The moment you're done, I'll instant transmission you out of there and act like nothing happened."

Before Krillin could protest further, Goku pushed him into his bedroom.

Krillin stumbled into pitch-black darkness. How was he supposed to see a thing in here?

"Oh, Goku~!" a feminine voice that belonged to Chi-Chi cooed a few feet ahead of him, startling him. "Come and get it, stud muffin~! Shoot a baby inside of me!"

Krillin hesitantly began to follow her voice, almost falling over his own feet in the process. He kept going until his crotch bumped against something supple yet firm. Chi-Chi's butt, he quickly realized, creating a blush on his cheeks. It'd felt nice against his groin. He was about to mumble an apology, but managed to pucker his lips together before he could give away his identity.

Though Chi-Chi had been wary of Goku's request to make love in the dark, she had to admit it was somewhat exciting to experience her honed senses in complete blackness while in anticipation of copulation. Her hearing was enhanced, easily registering the sounds of her husband's sash unbuckling, followed by the audible drop of his pants.

Krillin felt surreal. Here he was in pitch darkness, wearing a blonde wig, his dick out of his pants and about to pierce the folds of his best friend's wife… It wasn't exactly how he'd pictured losing his virginity many years ago. Nevertheless, he continued. Despite being a virgin, he knew where Chi-Chi's vagina was located; he had read Master Roshi's porn magazines more than enough to remember. Though it was hard to find his mark in the dark, he eventually found Chi-Chi's slick entryway to her inner walls. " _Ugh~…""_ The woman moaned when she felt him nuzzle against her folds, happy to finally feel some relieve on her aching sensitive region. She'd been waiting for this ever since she sent Gohan out to collect his father.

Though he had been apprehensive at first, Krillin slowly began to appreciate his current situation. He deserved this, dammit. He got blown up… IN SPACE!

Despite her fiery temperament, one could do a lot worse than Chi-Chi for their first time, Krillin reckoned. Despite having hit thirty earlier this year, she still looked as young as the day he met her. Not that he could see much in the darkness to serve as a testament to that claim, mind you... Though his lack of sight bothered him, he nevertheless eagerly proceeded to press himself against her vaginal lips. The folds gave way with little resistance.

"Huh…?" Chi-Chi uttered with surprise when something was suddenly inserted inside her snatch. How strange… It couldn't be her husband's manhood - it was too small! - yet it felt bigger and wider than any of his fingers. "Goku…?" she called hesitantly. "What did you just…?"

Behind her, the bald warrior was dumbfounded whilst he anchored himself inside Chi-Chi until he bottomed out, lost to the world as he finally experienced the pleasures of bedding a woman. His groin rested thoroughly against Chi-Chi's buttocks. Her slick walls constricted around him. He wished he could've seen the moment he finally became a man with his own eyes, but the wonderful sensations that enveloped him more than made up for his small gripe. _I can't way to tell Master Roshi about this!_ he thought proudly. Although, perhaps it felt a bit too good? He was already throbbing madly. In fact, he could swear he was already about to…!

Before Chi-Chi could inquire any further, she felt a sudden spurt of liquid fired into her hidden channel. "Wh… whaat?" Already?! Had her husband even moved? She was too stunned to move as jet after jet of cum was expelled inside her to travel towards her womb. Though she was happy Goku was filling her up considering the baby they were trying to conceive, she'd hoped to experience the wonderful thrills that he usually bestowed upon her.

She felt him separate himself from her when the man behind her released his final discharge. When he was fully disjointed from her, she suddenly heard a _pop_ , which was quickly followed by another. What the HIFL was going on here? She reached for the light switch to brighten the room. She was greeted by none other than her husband. "Goku?" Her body was filled with relieve. For whatever reason, a small part of her had expected to find someone other than her husband behind her. "What did you… do?"

Goku laughed sheepishly, dribs of sweat running down his head. "Sorry! I uhm… got too excited."

Chi-Chi eyed her husband with suspicion. Something fishy had just happened. She just didn't know what. "Geez," she grumbled. Why couldn't anything ever be normal with her husband? They really needed a second kid if they wanted to save their marriage. "Just drop your pants, Goku. Let's make that baby!"

"Yeah, yeah," Goku bemoaned. So much for getting a chance to rejuvenate himself. All that effort, and Krillin hadn't even afforded him a minute of rest. And he wasn't talking about Freezer's interpretation of a minute either.

* * *

Nine months later, Chi-Chi had forgotten all about the strange incident in her bedroom. Shortly after their many copulations, Goku died protecting the Earth from Cell's rampage. Goku was gone, but he had left her a precious gift. After his death, she found out they had succeeded in their attempts to make another baby.

"Just one more push, Mrs. Son!" the obstetrician beckoned Chi-Chi as she helped deliver the baby. "You're almost there!"

Chi-Chi had forgotten what an ordeal it was to give birth. Dende, how long was the doctor going to tell her to push? After what felt like hours, Chi-Chi finally managed to deliver the baby – who she had decided to call Goten – into the world.

The nurse inspected the baby puzzledly as she cleaned the boy. For such a beautiful woman to end up with a baby like this... _The father must be rich or something_ , she thought ludicrously. _Oh well. Who am I to judge as long as they're happy?_

Chi-Chi sighed as she watched the nurse's reaction to her child. She should've expected this reaction. It reminded her of the day she had welcomed Gohan into the world. The doctors and nurses had been baffled to discover that he had a monkey tail attached to his coccyx.

When she was finally given permission to hold the baby, however, she quickly found out that the nurse's reaction had nothing to do with the boy's Saiyan genetics. What her baby lacked was a… "N… nose? He doesn't have a nose," she murmured, perplexed. Her new son reminded her of Krillin. But how…?

The gears in her head worked overtime to solve the mystery. Suddenly, she inhaled sharply as a strange occurrence came rushing back into her mind. That time she felt something weird pressed into her nine months ago! Goku and Krillin must have…! Rage seethed through her entire body. "KRILLIN!"

Suffice to say, Goku had never been happier with his decision to stay behind in Otherworld.

As for Krillin… Well, the monk expected to join Goku very soon.


End file.
